Genevra’s phone rang in the middle of the night.
Ben. 
Again.
She answered because she felt bad about him still.
“It’s not gay to want to lick sweat droplets off your best friend’s abs at the gym.”
Definitely drunk.
“Jesus Christ, Ben, it’s two in the morning. Call Jordan with these questions. He’s your best friend.”
“Jesus Christ, Ben,” he imitated her. “You’ve ruined my life.”
“I pointed out that you might be attracted to Jordan. Either get over that attraction, hide it better, or go on as you are, drunkenly calling a life coach who tried to coach you once. If you can’t call before eleven at night or after eight in the morning, I’m going to block your number. I think you’re a good person deep down, but you’re in denial.”
“Blah blah toxic masculinity. Typical feminazi.”
But he didn’t hang up. 
“It’s only toxic if you treat women like they aren’t people and then blame them for not liking you. Go to bed and then make a time to walk dogs at the pound.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I want a dog, Gennenbruh.” He sounded wistful.
“Write a note for yourself to sign up for the training. No, wait, I’m going to text you so you remember in the morning. Don’t you have to go to work in the morning?”
“No, I’m taking a few days off.”
“Really? Vacation? Sick leave?”
“Had to take it as sick leave. I almost started crying in a meeting today, Geneverba, so I ran to the bathroom and made puking noises. But I have to go back on Monday and I haven’t sorted my life out yet.”
He hung up with a beep.
She sent him that text with the link to the pound volunteer website and did relaxation exercises until she fell back asleep. She dreamed about the nameless bridesmaid who really was some sort of niece to Aunt Florence. She woke up thinking she should call Aunt Flo for an update.
***
Her next call out was the next Monday afternoon and was one of the grim ones where she had to convince an abuser to let his wife move on with her life. The pressure points were multiple and frightening and a delicate balance between She’s not worth it and You can be better. The family already had a restraining order lined up and an aunt in France the wife could visit for a few months. Gen wasn’t sure a US restraining order was enforceable in France, but the family had resources, apparently. She wondered if the husband wouldn’t end up dead in an “accident” or if he’d quickly find a new victim. Or if he’d realize he’d been manipulated and go after the family. Or her. 
She would definitely follow up on this one.
***
There are only so many types of cases I take, she thought as she sat at a coffee shop with an angry man and added the next cheating girlfriend to her mental list of cheaters. She was cheaper than a private detective, she supposed, and her ability to get people to admit the truth out loud in front of witnesses made finding proof unnecessary.
“So, you could just break up with her, right?” Genevra asked Dane, the self-proclaimed entrepreneur.
“We’ve been together for ten years and she owns half of the business we started up together. We were supposed to get married.” His vibes were way, way off. Was this an anger management problem? 
“And she’ll destroy the business? Sue you for breach of promise? I’m not seeing what you need me for.” She hated talking herself out of a commission, but maybe she didn’t understand small businesses.
“She’s accusing me of cheating, which is a lie,” Dane declared. “We have riders in our contracts about what would happen if we broke up and whose fault it was.”
That sounded fishy to her. “You had lawyers write up these contracts?”
“Of course! I thought we’d always be together, so we left the riders in over the lawyer’s objections. We split everything 50/50 if no one is cheating or if both of us are cheating. Or one of us buys the other one out for half the value. If one person cheated and the other one didn’t, the cheater owns 25% of the value.”
Ah. Well. It was all about money. And if he was the one cheating and he wanted to keep the company, he’d have to pay Brandy 75%. She wondered how much this company was worth. “So you want to buy her out for a quarter of the company’s value.”
“We’re struggling in this economy. We didn’t know tariffs would hurt our import costs and we’d have to raise prices.”
Which is how tariffs work, but OK. He was wearing what looked like a very expensive suit and a watch that would cover Genevra’s annual pay, and he’d pulled up in a brand new Tesla truck, but OK. She wondered how much his workers got paid and if he could sell his truck and watch to keep the business going or if he was going to start laying people off. But OK.
“All right, once you’ve signed my contract and paid the non-refundable deposit, which covers the first few hours of my time and my miscellaneous expenses, we can discuss the cover story of how you know me and why I need to meet your girlfriend. It can’t be too business-y, because I’m not a financier or a business owner or a potential investor.”
His smile got overly friendly as he glanced down at her boobs. She got the feeling he was 50/50 a cheater. Or 100% the only cheater in this relationship, trying to cheat his soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend out of her fair share. 
He pulled out his phone and transferred the money into her Life Coach Gen account and filled out the docusign she sent him. It was her boilerplate and vague enough about what sort of life coaching she was doing, but he didn’t read it. This was not a great businessman.
“Right. So family or friend. Or the girlfriend of your sister or brother or cousin. Someone who would be invited to hang out with you as a couple. Halloween is coming up, are there any parties you’re going to?”
Which is how she found herself dressed as a witch, hand in sweaty hand with Dane’s less-successful brother, Lawrence (“Never Larry! Law if you want to sound affectionate.”), who wore wizard’s robes. Their costumes were good quality, paid for by Dane (“This isn’t coming our of your joint account or business account, is it?” “Oh no, of course not.” Which she didn’t quite believe.), and minimal effort so they wouldn’t be singled out and would fly under the radar. The story was that they’d been dating for almost two months, which is how long it had been since Law had any contact with Brandy.
The Halloween party was being held in the meeting room of a nice restaurant. Brandy and Dane were hosting business contacts and their employees and some sales reps. There were some really nice costumes, lots of cleavage and muscular arms on display. A particularly good Pirate of the Caribbean, who was standing forlornly by the food table, not enjoying himself at all, would probably win the costume competition if it weren’t based on popularity.
Once they had drinks in hand – hers another fake Long Island Iced Tea – they claimed a table and she squeezed in right next to Law to watch the room and chat about their cover story. She was good at fake flirting, so it ended up being a fun conversation. Law had not, in fact, gone into the law as his parents had hoped, but was a computer programmer who designed computer games in his free time and hoped to launch one someday. He was creative and nice and extremely isolated. 
She hoped she could set him up with some nice person, once the cover story wasn’t needed anymore. Though even if she did, he wouldn’t come out from behind his computer for more than an evening here and there. He didn’t seem like an internet troll, but you never knew. He also didn’t think Brandy would cheat but that Dane would.
Finally, Dane and Brandy and their gleaming, white teeth went to the little sound system at the front of the room and called for everyone’s attention. They thanked everyone for being there and some of the drunker people hollered. Gen hoped those weren’t low-level employees who were going to get laid off for not being cool enough. They talked about the business, which neither Gen nor Law gave two shits about, then announced the costume competition, to be judged by applause with the deciding vote by Brandy. Gen had signed up in spite of their lack of cool costumes and of popularity, seeing as no one knew her and hardly anyone knew Law unless they had a computer issue bad enough for Dane to bring him in, so they lined up dutifully.
Peter Pan and Wendy, both in their forties, a lesbian couple, got good applause.
The pirate simpered like Johnny Depp and got bigger noise.
The VP of something and his girlfriend, both showing a lot of chest and ass in tight pants, as Robin Hood and Maid Marian, got even more noise.
Law and Gen got polite applause and murmurs of who the hell is that?, but it got Gen close to Brandy and her microphone. And to Dane, who smiled smugly at her. Their vibes were way, way off. Oh yeah, he was cheating and Brandy was trying to figure out how to get out. Without the company, she would have been gone a long time ago. If she was cheating? Hard to say. 
She wouldn’t have called what she did then a truth-telling spell, like they did on her online magic user forum, but it was close. She nudged them both to seek out the person they wanted to sleep with, which is the variant Genevra had used on Yvonne’s bridesmaid in Missouri who’d gotten caught with the groom. Both Brandy and Dane searched the crowd until they saw someone. Well, that was even more awkward, if it was coworkers. 
Robin Hood and Maid Marian won the competition, based on suck-ups in the audience and the tits and ass on display, then the music came back up and everyone went back to drinking.
Brandy scooted through the crowd in the opposite direction from Dane, who was heading for the bathrooms. Gen froze for a moment, wondering which one she should follow, then picked Brandy and sent Law after Dane, having not told him she was investigating Dane as well. Which, if she cared about getting paid the remainder of her fee, she shouldn’t have been. She couldn’t help it if she had fellow feeling for women and for justice and for people being cheated on.
Brandy stood at the side of the room, swaying to the music, more affected by alcohol or by the spell than Gen had intended. But she was looking at a couple who were dancing and, when Gen checked, were completely wrapped up in each other, with no cheating vibes at all. Brandy had an unrequited crush on one of those people. Gen touched Brandy’s arm, sending a little of actual truth-telling. 
Brandy blinked at her, confused. “Sorry, you’re here with Law, right?”
“Sure am. He’s the sweetest guy. I wanted to say thank you for letting me come. It’s a good party.”
“I was hoping to talk to Maria, our HR chief, but she’s devoted to her husband. I mean, they’re dancing and I should be, too.”
“Right. You don’t seem like the type who would cheat, either.”
“Absolutely not,” Brandy said and she was 100% telling the truth. “I have morals. What the hell kind of question is that from a stranger?”
“I didn’t mean to be rude, sorry. Alcohol makes me say crazy stuff. Anyway, I have to use the bathroom and find Law and we’re going home. It was nice meeting you. Great party!”
She cut through the crowd toward the bathrooms and tried to listen outside the men’s room door, but all she heard was a toilet flushing. She went into the women’s room and heard tell-tale noises from the large, accessible stall. Yep, two pairs of feet. Dane’s Viking boots and...were those Maid Marian’s shoes? This was going to destroy the company, which wasn’t big enough for the boss to cheat with the VP’s partner without major repercussions. She slipped back out into the hall and sent out a sort of attraction signal. Two young women who were a few feet away discussed it and yes, they really did need to pee. Peter Pan and Wendy were only a little past them and needed to pee, too. 
Gen went back into the bathroom and used the only available stall. The sex noises went silent, but suddenly, there were four of their coworkers in the bathroom, waiting. Gen came out and washed her hands slowly while Wendy took her stall, having talked the younger women into letting her go first because she was desperate.
Gen left the bathroom as one of the young women drunkenly said, “Hurry up in there!” 
She found Law leaning against the wall at the end of the corridor, chatting to Robin Hood about how both their dates had disappeared into the ladies’ room. Well, this was looking good.
Good for justice, though not for getting paid. Good thing she’d made the deposit bigger than usual.
She considered leaving before Dane came out, because he’d probably be mad at her. She requested a ride with her ride share app because Law was going to freak out, she’d bet. Five minutes.
Gen turned on her body cam, which was a hat cam that night. 
The two girls in their very early twenties came out of the bathroom first and cut left into the restaurant, grabbing a friend and saying, “You would not believe who’s in there.” One of them caught sight of Robin Hood and shut the other one up. One was frightened and the other gleeful.
Peter Pan and Wendy came out, trying to be cool. They looked quizzically at Gen, who was standing and watching the hall. They glanced at VP Robin Hood and scurried away.
Finally, the door eased open. She grabbed Law’s elbow and said, “I need a witness.”
Hood heard her and turned around as well to see his partner slipping out of the ladies’ room, disheveled and looking flushed and guilty. Dane right on her heels.
“What the hell?” Brandy had come up behind her, a serious-faced Peter Pan having brought her over. 
But she was drowned out by the bellow from Robin Hood, who gave Dane a hard shove and started shouting at the two cheaters. 
Gen slipped in and dragged Marian away from the testosterone, not because she deserved to be rescued, but because she didn’t deserve to get punched. She had to let go of her and grab onto Brandy’s arm, when she looked like she would punch Marian.
And it was chaos. 
She told Law she had to go. He said she’d caused this mess, which she denied. Then she slipped away while Law was wading in to keep the argument from going to actual assault. Her rideshare was pulling up as she reached the parking lot. 
It was a pity: in other circumstances, she and Law could’ve been friends. Also: Dane was about to lose his company and receive a 25% payout. And their head of accounting wouldn’t be there to get the numbers right, because she was Maid Marian. Gen hoped Brandy had good backup and an even better auditor.

​

Continue to Chapter Four