Soon they were all climbing aboard the 24-seater bus-limo thing. It smelled like cleaning supplies and air freshener and feet. She slid into the seat directly behind Tyler and a tall, skinny man who radiated dorkiness and good humor. The vibe between the two of them seemed fine, if a bit on edge in this noisy bus where the boyfriend didn’t know anyone.

A stranger hopped on last, looked around at all the full seats, and sat next to her. “This is good, because Sophie mentioned you were here and I was hoping to talk to you.”

Genevra stared at him. Donbey chin and eye shape, blond hair. Sophie was talking about her? “I’m Genevra.” She held out a hand and he shook it awkwardly in the cramped seat.

“Gabriel. Yvonne’s brother.”

“Oh right,” she said. “I didn’t really meet many people that weekend.”

“Yvonne said you were nice to her. I told her I was sorry it all happened and she told me only one other person had said it.” Gabriel was staring at her intently.

“How is Yvonne doing? I haven’t seen her here.”

Gabriel shook his head. “She’s coming for the reception only. Too soon, you know?”

Yeah, Gen did know. “Hard after any breakup, but that was messy.”

“You said it,” he said. “Anyway, thanks for, uh, being nice, I guess.”

“You’re welcome. Or she is welcome.”

They rode in silence as she watched the back of of Tyler’s head as he leaned into his boyfriend and they talked quietly. She’d get an introduction and see.

***

She maneuvered her way into sharing a tiny table and a flight of beer samples with Matthew and Tyler and Brett – they each had four tiny glasses and there were four carafes of small-batch local beer. She was sipping a tiny bit of each one while the cousins told Brett funny stories from their shared childhood. They had a lot more of the beer than she did and then also ordered a glass of beer each while she declared she would finish the stout the others hadn’t liked much. She did like stout and this one was very nice and rich, but she had to keep her head. She ordered a basket of soft pretzel pieces for the table and listened.

Brett was a good guy all the way through and he doted on Tyler.

Aunt Flo was completely wrong on this one and Genevra debated in her head about flying home before the wedding so she could make up the work hours she’d missed.

On the way to the next stop, she sat with Matthew. “Sorry I’ve latched on to you and Tyler,” she said. “It’s like becoming instant best friends with a new college roommate for the first few days because that’s the only person you know.”

“We won’t be friends later?” he asked archly.

She laughed. “I think we will be, though I don’t know if I’m going to be able to come to all the weddings and things. It’s kind of far and Aunt Florence won’t subsidize me forever. Do you still live in Oregon?”

He smiled. “I do, but that’s still hundreds of miles from you. If you don’t mind, I’ll stop if I’m driving up and down Interstate Five. And same goes for you if you’re heading north.”

They exchanged cell phone numbers as she hoped he never found out she wasn’t really a Donbey.

She cleared her throat. “I noticed you didn’t bring a significant other or friend or anyone?”

His whole aura turned dark. “Recent break up. Not as bad as Yvonne’s. No, as bad as Yvonne’s, but it didn’t play out in public very much.”

She made soothing sounds.

“I brought him to these things for six or seven years and the whole family knew him. I figured we’d stay together, you know, forever. But he was drinking more and I stopped drinking so much. And then he started going out without me. Like I’d get home from work on Friday and he’d already be gone. He’d come home completely plastered and sweaty from dancing. We argued a lot and he didn’t control his temper.”

“Shit. He hit you?” she blurted out.

Matthew’s face crumpled. “Only once. I left immediately. But he was having sex in the back of clubs and experimenting with drugs, so it was even worse than I knew. I had to get tested for every possible STD and needle-transmitted disease.”

“I’m so sorry,” she said. “We should be talking about happy things.”

And she was suddenly sure Aunt Florence had confused Matthew with Tyler.

But Matthew had rescued himself.

Her work here was done and she could relax.

“Next time you drive by me on the highway, stay with me instead of getting a hotel. I’ll set you up with a friend of mine.” The guy she had in mind might have a boyfriend now, but they weren’t in touch because he’d been a friend of her ex. She’d think of someone else. Ben, maybe, if Jordan was truly in love with Esperanza.

Or she’d text Antonio and see how he was doing. She wondered if he’d still be her friend now that the breakup was two years ago. Surely not all her ex’s friends hated her. Her ex had been pretty thorough in trashing her reputation along with her credit rating.

At the next pub, some other cousin snapped Matthew up and Gen didn’t know who she was going to cling to as the family scattered inside the wine bar. Someone bumped into her and when she turned, it was to find Sophia turning toward her. Sophia’s expression went from laughing at something Spencer’s wife said to neutral. At least she wasn’t extremely pissed off.

Somehow, Gen ended up at a table for eight with Sophia and six other female cousins, as the entire group was led by a the bar’s sommelier through a wine tasting. She was pretty sure you weren’t supposed to do a wine tasting immediately after a beer tasting, but the goal here was to party and to buy alcohol to take home.

Each table got a charcuterie board and they were learning about pairings with cheeses when Sophia leaned toward her and said, “I’m still trying to figure you out.”

And when their shoulders brushed, Gen realized with a jolt that Sophia, when not angry, exuded a slight magic aura. She was at the very least highly intuitive and Gen would bet she was aware when magic happened around her, which explained her anger at Yvonne’s wedding.

Well, shit.

***

She and Sophia avoided each other for the rest of the pub crawl. Gen calculated she’d had the equivalent of two drinks over the five hour period and she was ready to introvert again.

During the ride back to the hotel, two of the men talked loudly about sports, but everyone else was subdued and playing on their phones or gazing out the window at the steady, misty, icy rain. Everyone was ready to introvert.

A few minutes into the ride, Tyler slid into the empty seat next to her.

“Are you coming to the rehearsal dinner tonight?” he asked.

“I’m not sure I’m invited,” she answered. “I figured room service or the restaurant next door.”

“It’s a pizza party in the bridal suite for most of us. Locals are bringing salads and side dishes. The main wedding party will come up when they’re back from the church. Most of these big family weddings, they like to keep the rest of us entertained and fed, you know? My parents are in from Illinois and my older sisters are going to bring their kids over, so it will be very loud.” He grinned and his aura glowed with love for his family.

“Why didn’t you and Brett stay with them instead of paying for a hotel?” she asked, still wondering if Aunt Flo was right, even though she was pretty sure they were a solidly happy couple.

He wrinkled his nose in distaste. “It’s a lot more fun to hang out in the hotel anyway, but my only sister with another guest room has a homophobe husband. I could stay, but Brett isn’t welcome.”

“Shit, I’m sorry. My mom was always great about my ex, but her parents were really shitty to her and, by extension, to me. It messed her up.” Her ex turned out to be shitty as well, but mostly due to compulsive overspending and lying. Hence the expansion and monetization of Life Coach Gen, which she’d started as a joke when Chelsea told her she had a knack for knowing when people were bad for each other.

“Yeah,” Tyler said. “Brett’s family is bad. He only came out to them a year ago and he’s older than I am by a few years. Up until then, we were just roommates for five years, right?” He shook his head. “Life’s hard enough without being assholes to other people.”

“Matthew sounded like he’s been through a hard time lately,” she said. “But he got out of it. Does his family live near him?”

“His dad and step-mom are out there in Oregon, along with his little sister, and they’ve been supportive. His mom moved back here after the divorce to be close to my mom. Her twin sister, you know?” Tyler lowered his voice. “He was with his ex at Yvonne’s wedding and the vibes were way off between them. He was trying to do family stuff and then comforting Yvonne and running interference for her, getting her honeymoon reservations refunded, paying to reschedule plane tickets. Matthew’s boyfriend was a dick the entire time, just whining for attention and getting drunk.”

***

Genevra went looking for Aunt Florence when they got back, in spite of her desire to take a nap. She ran into a nice lady with the Donbey chin and eyes in the hallway and was redirected to the bar, where the grandparents’ generation were said to be congregating. Oh good, another gathering.

Only three elderly women remained, two of them chattering happily, plus Aunt Florence with another huge cocktail. Gen slipped into the chair next to Flo and was introduced around. The other two women soon left to rest before supper.

“Well? What did you find out?” Aunt Flo asked in her too-loud voice.

Gen looked around and answered softly. “Tyler and Brett are good for each other, perfectly compatible, and very happy.”

“Oh.” Florence was disappointed. She must be full of spite to be sad about someone else’s happiness.

Gen looked at her sternly. “But Matthew, whom you have always mistaken for Tyler, brought his boyfriend to that wedding, which is where you saw him. His ex-boyfriend now.”

“Ahhh.” Florence smiled slightly. “Those two look so much alike.”

“Yeah, well, they’re not the same person. And I can’t believe you hired me to break up a happy couple.”

Flo shrugged. “They were both in their groomsman monkey suits and I only caught glimpses.”

“I’m glad I could clear it up instead of you calling up Tyler’s mom and causing trouble. They’re completely sweet to each other.”

Florence was unabashed. “After all these years of pointing out problems, no one listens to me anymore. My parents might as well have named me Cassandra for all the good I can do.”

Gen leaned back in her chair. Maybe she was the source of the magic talent Sophia seemed to have a drop of. No, Sophia had called her Aunt Flo and Flo had married into the Donbey family.

“You know which one Sophia is, right? She cornered me at Yvonne’s reception and accused me of causing the wedding to be called off. She could see I was doing something when I was making people tell the truth and also when I was soothing the bride. She suspects me, though she doesn’t know of what.”

Flo looked up toward the ceiling, stroking her own neck. “Good lord. So many cousins. And after fifty years in this family, I’ve seen literally hundreds of them.”

Gen had a pang of longing for a big family, recalling the Donbeys weren’t really hers.

“You apparently told her parents they were stupid to get married. In church on Christmas Eve, I think?”

“Oh, Claire’s girl, right. There’s something about Claire’s husband that isn’t right. Something about Sophia and her sister that’s disturbed, too.”

Gen nodded. “The same thing that’s disturbed in me?” She wasn’t sure if Flo realized she was a lesbian or that she was doing these things by using magic.

Flo glared at her, eyes flicking around her aura. “I can see you hate injustice. I can read people in relation to each other better than individuals. Which is also like you.”

Gen nodded. “I keep my opinions to myself most of the time, unless someone’s paying me or someone's getting hurt.”

Florence leaned forward. “I was a palm reader for ten years before I met my husband. I had a special two for one deal where I’d do readings for couples. People would invite me to their swinger parties to match couples up.” She shrugged at Gen’s horrified expression. “It was the sixties. Before AIDS.”

“Not before herpes, though,” Gen muttered. But she wondered how old Flo had been, trying to do the generational math that would lead to her grandson Spencer being about forty. Florence had probably been a teenager. Where were her parents? Gen both did and didn’t want to know the whole story.

“Or the clap, but we had antibiotics. Anyway, I had to reinvent myself and cover all that up when I met Bill, but the talent is still there. It’s nice to know things about people, right?” Florence cackled, which led to a coughing fit.

“I guess I’m not cynical enough yet to be happy to see sadness. Or to critique relationships that are happy.” Flo opened her mouth, but Gen went on. “Or even if they’re functional. Who are we to judge the private lives of other people? And how do you know if people will be happier if they break up?”

Florence crossed her arms, but lost her smugness. “How do you know they won’t be happier?”

“It’s hard to live on your own after being with someone. I had less than a week to find a new apartment that I could afford alone. I still haven’t recovered enough to date anyone else. The only dates I’ve been on have been part of cover stories.”

Flo looked a little less cross. “Who would you want to date?”

Sophia, was her immediate thought. “You mean among my fake cousins? Even as a fourth cousin, it would be a bit weird, right?”

“Fake cousins?” Sophia’s angry voice came from right behind them.

Flo startled worse than Genevra.

“We can explain,” Gen said. “Have a seat.”

“I knew it was all a lie. I could see you doing something to the bridesmaids and the groom at Yvonne’s wedding. I could see you messing with Yvonne’s emotions.”

Florence boomed, “Sit down.”

Sophia sat across from them.

“I thought you had a bit of the sight,” Florence said. “Just enough to see when someone else is using their talent.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Sophia said, startled out of most of her outrage. “I want to know about fake cousins.”

“You just said you could see me doing something to the bridesmaids. Yvonne’s friend was carrying a lot of spite toward Yvonne, and not just because she was having an affair with her fiance.”

“You went in there and insinuated yourself among the bridesmaids and then got the photographer in on your plan. It was low and terrible.” Sophia sounded like she wanted to cry. “And I want to know who it is you’re here to break up this time, because if Aunt Flo wants you to stop this wedding or break up my parents, I –”

She looked stricken.

Gen wanted to hug her. “No. Not them. It’s my particular talent – or curse – to see if couples are happy together. If someone is being hurt or taken advantage of, I can’t ignore it. Neither can Aunt Florence.”

Sophia fired up again. “And that’s another thing, Aunt Florence. Why do you get to choose? Maybe people are happy enough.”

Florence clicked her dentures together. “Genevra told me you were upset about how I said your parents shouldn’t have gotten married. They really shouldn’t have, but they’re fine now. That’s what I was trying to say.”

“You announced in church that they shouldn’t be together.” Sophia was starting to doubt herself.

“I don’t know because I wasn’t there and I haven’t met them,” Gen said. “Florence contacted me when she found evidence of Yvonne’s fiance losing all that money. She looked at him and saw he was toxic. She knew no one would listen to her and somehow, she heard of me.”

“Whose life are you here to ruin this time?” Sophia said, not willing to calm down.

“No one’s. Your aunt thought Tyler was in trouble.”

Sophia looked incredulous. “Tyler? He and Brett are perfect. They’re as grossly cute as Spencer and Audra.”

“Turns out, she mistook Matthew for Tyler. And the boyfriend he brought to the last wedding was bad. So when she saw Tyler was bringing the same plus one, she called me.”

Florence scoffed. “I have ten grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren and hundreds of you nieces and nephews and great- and great-great-nieces and nephews. And ninety percent of you have the Donbey chin.”

Sophia stared at them both, still incredulous. She shoved herself to her feet.”I think you should go home, Gen-ev-ra,” she enunciated viciously. “And you, Aunt Florence, you should stay out of everyone’s business.”

“So if Yvonne had gotten married, that would have been better?” Gen asked, temper flaring. “And if Matthew were still with the ex he told me about today?”

“OK, fine, so maybe we should listen to Aunt Flo some of the time.”

Flo slapped the table with an open hand. “Exactly.” She slapped it again and Gen snatched up the cocktail glass as it wobbled dangerously.

“So your work here is done,” Sophia announced. “Time to have an emergency at home and leave first thing in the morning.”

“I haven’t even met the bride or groom yet,” Gen said, anger ebbing into hurt.

Sophia stared at her, eyes narrowed. “If you’re leaving in the morning, you can still come to the pizza party, I guess. But I’m keeping an eye on you. What room are you in? I expect you to stay in there unless I’m with you.”

Gen had always liked bossy women.

​

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